Chorus

All If ninety-nine percent of what the papers print is so (And many editors regard the figure low), Then we have ample reason to expect today King Papagallo, who is coming, so they say, To claim the Princess Minutezza’s hand; But why he should, we cannot understand.   He’s much too old for her,   In this we all concur, Her heart he never can command.

Men     The papers say Girls   His coming is quite unexpected; Men     And trust he may Girls   By Minutezza be rejected.

All If Papagallo’s very wise,   He’ll woo the mother, not the maid. As wife the Queen might prove a prize;   As ma-in-law, an awful jade.

When polity and state affairs are paramount, “Vox Populi” and “Constant Reader” do not count; Therefore we will not send a protest to the press, But wish the couple sev’ral kinds of happiness; And should they ask us all to come and dine, We do not feel that we could well decline;   For gastronomic bliss   Has never been amiss, When coupled with a little wine.

Bia. The morning news we see you’re reading,   And no doubt note with humbled mien, That Papagallo’s this way speeding   To claim our daughter for his queen.

Chorus The inside facts we’d like to know: Why must she wed our hated foe?

Bia. The facts are painful to our pride: A Peace Commission named the bride.

Song—Bianca and Chorus

One day King Papagallo sent a note— Chorus     Oh, sorrow! Bia. Insisting that our King had shot his goat. Chorus     Oh, sorrow!

Bia. We wrote a letter full of sad regrets, But his reply was couched in awful threats.   So we said we’d go to war,   With all its glory and its gore, And settle thus our diff’rences and debts.

With clanking sword and glist’ning gun   He marched in exultation,   Free from fear and trepidation,   And his men’s vociferation   Was too much for contemplation— We were forced to run.

Chorus With clanking sword, etc.

Bia. We met the enemy and we were theirs! Chorus     Oh, sorrow! Bia. A Peace Commission sat on our affairs. Chorus     Oh, sorrow!

Bia. “To save our royal lands,” the treaty said, “That Minutezza”—thus the edict read—   “Before she reached eighteen   “Must prepare to be a queen— “Timberio’s monarch she must wed.”

With clanking sword and glist’ning gun   He’ll come in exultation,   Free from fear and trepidation,   And his men’s vociferation   Will be food for contemplation For ev’ry one.

Chorus With clanking sword, etc.

Song—Gambo

Now, if you would like to be constantly clean,   To banish despair and reinstate hope, Each one may attain this condition serene   By buying—by buying—this most miraculous soap!

[to one]     You surely will buy     A sample to try.

[to another]     ’Twill wash out your dresses,     And soften your tresses.

Gam. A most enticing chance I see   On which the soap to test. My friend, pray lend your coat to me;   It should be cleaned and pressed.

Busc. What! lend this coat, On which I dote, My ancestor’s bequest?   No, no, no!

Song—Buscato

Your modern men may wear Prince Albert coats,   Or cutaways of queer designs, But one who day and night to art devotes   This most contemptuous garb declines. We miss the dress of days that are no more;   The fashions of these times are vile; No gentleman a spike-tailed garment wore   When this old coat was in the style.

Gam. & Basses We miss the dress, etc.

Busc. Its shoulders show the marks of powdered hair,   Its sleeves the touch of Beauty’s hand. It has that most aristocratic air   Of stately grace and manner grand. It cannot hope to hold its regal sway   Or wond’ring gazers to beguile; So let us dream of that Utopian day   When this old coat was in the style.

Gam. & Basses It cannot hope, etc.

Gam. But your ancestor did not bequeath you the dirt,   So to give it to me is your duty; And I will restore it, without any hurt,   To all its original beauty.

Busc. As you are so uncommonly urgent, On my coat you may try your detergent.     Be careful, I pray! Gam.     Your wish I’ll obey.

Chorus Woe to the peddler Should he prove a meddler!

Gam.   Good people, take note:   I now take this coat And apply to it, thus, a solution of soap;   In a minute or two   ’Twill come out like new And challenge a test of the microscope.

Busc.   Though tattered and torn,   ’Twas formerly worn By an uncle who tearfully gave it to me;   He ranked as a duke   And wore a peruke And printed a book on the coat’s pedigree.

Chorus He printed a book on the coat’s pedigree!

Gam. [immersing coat in tub]     Thus! thus! thus! thus!

Chorus Come scrub it, and rub it, and drub it with care;   Restore the dear coat to its youth again. Wet it, and fret it, and let it get dry;   Then happier thoughts in his heart will reign.

Gam. [recit.] Attention all—the miracle behold! Busc.   A most mysterious surprise— Chorus   See how the coat is shrunk in size! Busc. Base trickster, villain, robber bold!

Chorus O waterproof and storm-worn mackintosh—   You may elect to sneer and smile, But garments were not guaranteed to wash   When this old coat was in the style.

Busc. [recit.] Villain, prepare to fight without delay— For this indignity your life shall pay!

Gam. Very well. Name your weapons. Busc.     Swords. Gam.         Agreed! Ah, here are two. You’re friends in need.   Come, cavalier,   Trembling with fear. Busc. Your punishment shall be severe. Gan.   Use all your skill;   I mean to kill. Busc. Trickster! villain! swindler! cheat! Gam. Coward! boaster! braggart! beat! Busc. I’ll accept no compromise. Gam. No, we’ll fight until one dies. Both En garde! All   En garde!

Chorus At first we thought the trick was magic,   Simply done to show his skill; But it seems it’s getting tragic:   Each the other means to kill.

Gam. A hundred ducats I win the day! Busc. My friends, he bluffs—take up his wager, pray. Chorus As he appears the better man, We’ll wager on him all we can.

Gam. A hundred—another—again—once more!   Come, coatless knight,   On to the fight! Busc. Quickly I’ll this wrong requite. Gam.   Boast while you may;   I’ll win the day. Busc. Trickster! villain! swindler! cheat! Gam. Coward! boaster! braggart! beat! Busc I’ll accept no compromise. Gam. No, we’ll fight until one dies. Both En garde! All   En garde!

Chorus At first we thought, etc.

Busc. A hit! a palpable hit! That I am worsted I must admit.

Chorus We thought he’d surely win the bout, But that he’s whipped there seems no doubt.

Gam. I offer my sincere regrets; As I’ve won, I’ll take the bets.

Sopranos ’Tis our belief you’ve all been sold; They worked their schemes to get your gold. Tenors What would you have us do, say, pray? Sopranos As they are cheats, make them repay. Come on! Tenors     We will!

All   Vengeance to wreak,   We’ll not be meek. Quickly we the rogues will seek.   Robbed by the scamp,   Fooled by the tramp. Tricksters! villains! swindlers! cheats! Cowards! boasters! braggarts! beats! Oh, with rage we suffocate— Sharpers we abominate. Tenors Come on! Sopranos     Come on!

All They have duped us by their magic;   Idiotic we have been. When we catch them ’twill be tragic;   Retribution will begin.

Min. [recit.] One moment, pray! King Papagallo comes to-day   To claim my hand; He sends a note, From which I’ll quote   To show you his demand: “Princess Minutezza, Beauty’s queen—” Chorus     Oh, sorrow! Min. “As you will very shortly be eighteen—” Chorus     Oh, sorrow!

Min. “I send this to remind you you are mine, “And trust my heart and hand you won’t decline;   “For when I take a notion   “My love and my devotion “Are of the class that’s rated super-fine.

“With clanking sword and glist’ning gun   “I’ll come in exultation,   “Free from fear and trepidation,   “And my men’s vociferation   “Will be food for contemplation “For ev’ry one.”

Chorus With clanking sword, etc.

Song—

Chorus Our customary attitude To strangers in this latitude Is to ignore all platitude   And make them feel at home. Papagallo! Swell out each voice and likewise cheer: Papagallo, King of Timberio, is here.

Pap. Kind friends, this deference Is ample evidence   That I have made a hit. Chorus Not a bit! not a bit! not a bit! haw, haw!

Pap. So, consequently, we Will sink formality   And all its laws omit. Chorus Not a whit! not a whit! not a whit! haw, haw!

Pap. So in language that’s without restriction,   With freedom from joking and mirth, Ignoring all flowery diction,   Let’s damn all the donkeys on earth!

Chorus Haw, haw, haw, haw, haw, haw!

On this maxim I wish to insist— And I’m sanguine my views won’t be hissed—   That a man is a monkey   To ride on a donkey, When walking is on the free list.

Chorus On this maxim he wants to insist, etc.

Pap. Let me interrogate; In language adequate   Your answer please essay— Chorus Say your say! say your say! say your say! haw, haw!

Pap. Why does this beast sedate While scratching of his pate   His off leg bring in play? Chorus That’s his way! that’s his way! that’s his way! haw, haw!

Pap. While crossing a bridge on the summit,   He ate up a foot of his girth, Then he kicked—down I went like a plummet,   So let’s damn all the donkeys on earth!

Chorus Haw, haw, haw, haw, haw, haw!

Pap. On this maxim I wish to insist, etc.

Chorus On this maxim he wants to insist, etc.

Duet—Minutezza and Papagallo

Min. Should you marry Ma instead of me, Your wedded life will happy be. She’s a nurse of wondrous skill— Makes you hungry to be ill. When pains rheumatic rack your frame And gouty symptoms make you lame, Mama will treat you to her store Of patent medicines galore.

Pap. I’m not an invalid, dear maid, And do not need a nurse’s aid; I never suffer from the gout, Am always able to be out. In a polka step the girls declare I’m graceful, grand, and debonair; When I dance the saraband Untold rapture I command; And dancing masters often say I’m supple as a coryphée. But when I fill all hearts with bliss Is when I give a kick like this!

Min.   I still maintain I’m not the one to be your future wife; I’ll flirt wherever I may be, And cause you untold misery;   And my disdain Will make you wish to end your blighted life— For I will snub you ev’ry day, And not one wish of yours obey.

Pap. You state your side in manner strong, Though most illogical and wrong. When you become my blushing bride On all those subjects I’ll decide.

Though you maintain you’re not the one to be my future wife— Min.   I’ll flirt wherever I may be,   And cause you untold misery— Pap. And your disdain will make me wish to end my blighted life— Min.   I’ll surely snub you ev’ry day,   And not one wish of yours obey.

Recitative—La Pastorella

Before the Moor was master of the hills of old Iberia, Before the Moslem standard floated over ancient Syria, Our family resolved to scorn all kinds of labor And to subsist entirely on the product of our neighbor.

Song—La Pastorella

  Our grand achievements in peculative science     Fill my robber soul with wildest joy;   Our deeds of daring coupled with defiance     Are just the kind of deeds brave hearts employ. Who robs the midnight traveler on the lonely road? Who robs the millionaire within his strong abode?     La Pastorella! A woman!     Ha ha ha— A woman!

“Cuckoo, cuckoo,” a little bird sings with glee:   “When winds blow north, east, south, or west,   “Fail not to feather well your nest.” Cuckoo, cuckoo, little bird in the tree, Your pungent precept is the one for me.

  We stand together, whatever dangers try us;     Heart to heart and hand to hand, say we,   Although society labors to decry us,     We do not criticize society. Who acts the injured maiden with consummate art, And gets a golden solace for a batter’d heart?     La Pastorella! A woman!     Ha ha ha— A woman!

“Cuckoo, cuckoo,” etc.

Recitative

Past. To marry or not to marry—   That is the interrogation: Whether a husband will be to me   A joy or complication.

Gam. I offer heart and hand to you. I’ll constant be and ever true,   If you will say you’ll marry.

Past. The Fates the problem shall decide: If I’m to be a happy bride   Or as a widow tarry.

Trio—La Pastorella, Gambo, and Buscato

Gam. You remember ’twas six months ago When your young heart was laden with woe,   The day that our Cap   By a legal mishap Went to dwell where they never have snow. You told me, ’twixt sob and ’twixt tear, ’Twas awkward for me to appear   As a lover just yet,   But not to forget To call in the spring of the year.

Busc. Why not marry to-morrow?   You love him and he loves you. Banish your widowy sorrow,   And one become, instead of two.

Past. & Gam. Society says to the man, When you “pop” you should follow this plan:   Go speak to her Pa,   And also her Ma, And toot your own horn if you can. This method (you/I) cannot pursue; (I’m/You’re) an orphan and lone widow too;   (I/You) haven’t a Pa,   And neither a Ma, So what is the best to do?

Octette—Minutezza, La Pastorella, Gambo, Buscato, Margherita, Rea, Zadena, and Rosamonda

Gam. In a matter of such great import   Strategic schemes are needed; So consequently I exhort   That what she says be heeded.

Past. We’ll seek him when the twilight dies;   With song and dance we’ll catch him; And then, no doubt to his surprise,   Remorselessly we’ll snatch him.

Gam. He’ll shiver—  Busc.   And quiver—  All     And quail. Gam. Our scowling—  Busc.   And growling—  All     Bewail. Gam. We’ll awe him—  Busc.   And jaw him—  All     Till he Gam. Resigns you—  Busc.   Declines you—  All     You see.

All When night comes we will bag him. If he murmurs we will gag him. Having discreet penetration, He’ll accept the situation.

[All hum.]

Finale—Act I

Pap. O stars that form the Milky Way, If you to earth should ever stray, Take my advice and heed it, pray:   Don’t stop at that hotel.

    Bed’s bad,     Bread’s bad,     Lamb’s bad,     Jam’s bad,     Pie’s bad,     Flies bad—   And ten per day!

O beauteous moon with silver sheen, Your life seems happy and serene; If you should come upon this scene,   Don’t stop at that hotel.

    Roast’s bad,     Toast’s bad,     Quail’s bad,     Ale’s bad,     Ham’s bad,     Clams bad—   And ten per day!

Past. Let poets sing of stars that gem the sky— Chorus   We much prefer the sable curtain of the night. Past. Let lovesick swains fair Luna glorify— Chorus   Her absence fills our happy hearts with sweet delight.

Past. The phosphorescent spark   May catch the maiden’s eye; But the dimness of the dark   Is what we’re swearing by.

Gam.   Pillage and booty   Is pleasure and duty. Past. To this we gladly testify.

All     O man most wise,     You may devise A thousand laws to terrorize! The robber ev’ry law defies—   He wants your pocket-book.     O woman weak,     O woman meek, O woman with unbounded cheek, If you be lovely or a freak,   He wants your pocket-book!

Past. I love to see the golden sun go down— Chorus   Into the lazy ocean in the western land. Past. And when we prowl around this sleepy town— Chorus   Our dearest love the golden ducats then command.

Past. The phosphorescent spark, etc.

All     O man most wise, etc.

Past. Hush—the watchmen are coming near; Hide him till they disappear.

Patrol We are called the props of the law;   Patrolling we think very much of a bore. When danger is near we discreetly withdraw;   So back to our beds we will go.

Past. Take him up— Gam. & Busc.     Tenderly!

All Our home is on the mountain peak Where wild winds blow and eagles shriek; The moon is due, so off we’ll sneak   Before it lights the earth.

Romance—Guido

The rose tints leave the sky, The shadows multiply, The moon peeps o’er the eastern hill With blushes soft and shy; Though sky-tints pass away And fade to dullest grey,   My love will grow,   And brighter glow, Until the dawn of Love’s eternal day.

Oh, sweetheart, if your ancient wooer   Should win the day, I humbly crave You change the adage—’twill be truer—   “No young man’s darling, but an old man’s slave.”

The whippoorwill’s sad cry, His mournful mate’s reply, Into my lovelorn heart instill A hopeless prophecy. Must I forever more A hapless life deplore?   Oh darling mine,   Can you divine What days to come may have for us in store?

Oh, sweetheart, if your ancient wooer, etc.

Solo—La Pastorella

Here’s a pack Of red and black,   Spots and faces,   Deuces, aces, Each suit with its jack. Cut and deal Will soon reveal   If I’ll marry   Or yet tarry In lone woe or weal.

  “One loving heart,   “A counterpart “Of man in all his pride,   “Lives but for you;   “He’s ever true, “And names you for his bride.”

Lie you there, O woman fair!   If you dare   His heart to share   Beware, beware!   Take care, take care! For he is everything to me.

  What’s this I see?   It cannot be! [Reading] “We send a king as captive to you, “And though he may refuse to woo you, “No other heart can share your own “While he remains upon his throne. “Be persistent and pursue him; “Try to wed and try to woo him, “Though his heart be heart of stone.”

Oh, stars, though my heart you have broken, My duty and mission is spoken. The cards have revealed by this token   That I am the sport of fate.

Busc. He’s here. Pap.     I’m here. Busc. He’s here. Pap.     I’m here.

Past. O vague unrest within my breast, I stand ’twixt doubt and fear.

I beg to make an explanation:   Though my woman heart rebels, In my mental observation   I can find no parallels. You’re the man my stars selected   As the one to marry me; While you’re not what I expected,   Still my husband you must be.

    Therefore— Ring the bells in rhythmic measure;   We must wed within the day. I am listed as a treasure,   You as very common clay.

Busc. Please to note how luck pursues you:   Though you missed a bride last night, Cupid says he will not lose you,   Gives you her, the world’s delight. She’s no maid of awkward manner   But a widow fair to see, Plays the organ and piano   In a most outlandish key.

Past.     Therefore— Ring the bells in rhythmic measure;   I must wed within the day. I am listed as a treasure,   He as very common clay.

Duet—Guido and Minutezza

Gui. Love, light of my heart,   The day of our joy is near; Love, though we should part,   Your image will ever be dear. Love, hope lives to-day With all of its wonderful sway,   For starlit night   And sunshine bright Have entered our lives for aye.

Min. And will you faithful be? Gui.   Ever, love. Min.     As in the olden days? Gui.     As in the golden days. Min. Nor change your fealty? Gui.   Never, love. Min.     Until eternity— Gui.     I’ll faithful be.

Min.   Day by day   We will stray   Where violets dwell   ’Mid asphodel And ox-eyed daisies reign.   And oh so faint,   So sweetly quaint,   The sighing breeze   Among the trees Will echo Love’s refrain.

Ensemble

Men We cannot see the reason why   The Fates did not name us; Old Papagallo can’t deny   He’ll prove an incubus. The stars, before they name the man,   Should place him first on view. And then a woman, by this plan,   Can see if he will do.

Girls   The ecstasy, the pleasure, and the joyousness supreme     Seem sadly lacking on this gala day;   The man the Fates have sent her is as skim milk unto cream     To the husband who was forced to pass away.   Where there’s so much fear and doubting   We can’t see why we keep shouting, For a laryngitic trouble may ensue;   He may rate as hale and hearty,   But we do not like the party, So he’ll never— no, he’ll never, never do.

Pap.   With deferential prudence, so no anger I’ll arouse,     I beg you tell me—that is, if you can—   While I have said I could not—would not—be her future spouse,     Pray say why d’you make the office seek the man?   Any way I try to do it   I can’t tackle kindly to it; It is nothing else but superstition that possesses you;   I’m no logical conclusion   In this matrimonial fusion, And I’ll never— no, I’ll never, never do.

Past. Bright Star of Love, shine on this most perplexing mating; Send from your world to him who’s ever hesitating Your stern command that, while the fact is not elating,   He must accept me for his lawful bride.

Gam. Hold! Here is something we must heed! Stop this affair and let me read!

  Are you a murderer?

Pap.     No.

Gam.   An assassin?

Pap.     No.

Gam.   A gory thug?

Pap.     No.

Gam.   Then you won’t do.

[Reads]   “An Act to purify our band”—   Which every one should understand— A law to keep outside our ranks the weaklings of the nation.   “No man can wed a robber maid   “Unless, by either gun or blade, “He’s killed a man, and thereby shows he’s worth consideration.”

All [to Papagallo]   Get out!

Past. Or proceed to formulate a plan—

All [to Papagallo]   Get out!

Past. Whereby you can fight and kill your man.

All He doesn’t look the cavalier Who’d risk his life for woman dear, But who would rather disappear   When danger happens by. So pack up your Sunday clothes— Your doublet and silken hose— And go where the lily blows,   Far in the golden West.

Pap.   If I quite understand your law,   I’m not the man you’re looking for. The man you want should thirst for blood, and drink it down most gladly.   I’m milder than the dear gazelle   That shyly seeks the dingle-dell; I’m tender as the little lamb that Mary loved so madly.

All   Get out!, etc.

Song—Minutezza

The snow in the fields is lying deep;   The wind from the North is blowing; The man in the moon is fast asleep;   The brooklet has ceased its flowing. The Frost-King woos the bride of his choice—   ’Tis the Sprite from the cascade springing— And out of the snow-drift comes the voice   Of the Snow Baby’s mother singing:

“Sweetly, oh, slumber, my darling child;   “The breath of the winter is near. “As long as the North Wind is icy and wild   “You have nothing, my babe, to fear.”

Her anthracite eyes are filled with tears:   The Snow Baby’s mother is weeping, For far in the East a light appears   And over the hills it is creeping. She trembles with fear, and then to her breast   Her darling she lovingly presses. But mother and babe have sunk to rest:   They are dead by the Sun God’s caresses.

Sweetly, oh, slumber, etc.

Finale—Act II

Gui. An awkward complication this,   For one and all have sworn He shall not live in single bliss,   Nor married life adorn.

Past. Ah, Papagallo, you are in a scrape;   Go hide your face from Nature’s eyes. A calm and philosophic manner ape   And quote your wherefores and your whys.

All Since Eve with the serpent was smitten And the sweet rosy apple was bitten In letters of gold it was written:   “Enough is as good as a feast.”

Past. Hark! I hear the sound of drumming. Pap. Good; my soldier boys are coming.

Past., Gam., & Busc.   Trapped like rats, we cannot fly. Pap., Min., & Gui.   To offer fight would mean to die. Busc.   Death’s no disgrace— Gam.   Their bullets face!

Bia. Open in the name of the Queen! All   The Queen!

Pap. Had you not come, I’d been a married man. Past. Oh, shameless wretch, to stoop to such a plan!

Min. Unchain the dogs of war!   The enemy will find us unrelenting! When our cannons roar   King Papagallo then will be lamenting.   March o’er hill and valley,     Dashing,     Crashing,   With a mighty rally, Like knights of yore.

Unfold our country’s flag;   Let regimental bands begin their drumming. Though we will not brag,   Inform the craven foe that we are coming!   Sound the call for battle;     Steady,     Ready,   Hear our bullets rattle ’Gainst jutting crag.

  Tremble, Papagallo! Clear the track; we are on our way.   Tremble, Papagallo! We will rout you with dismay. In serried ranks onward press to meet the foe.   He’ll quail before our battle cry; Our might he’ll very quickly know.     We’ll never flee,     But victors be—   Or else die!

Past. The bugle’s brazen blare   Will fill the land with warlike demonstration. “Meet us if you dare”   Will be the daily challenge from each nation.   On to death and glory!     Slaying,     Flaying,   You will live in story As soldiers rare.

Your nation looks to all   To immolate yourselves on duty’s altar. Forward, though you fall—   Proud patriotic hearts should never falter.   Loving lips will bless you,     Truly,     Duly—   Arms of love caress you; Hear beauty’s call!

  Tremble, Papagallo!, etc.

Chorus

These are our sentiments: Do away with court and jail, Do away with bond and bail, Make the watchman close his eyes— Then Earth will be a paradise.

Gui. “And the night shall be filled with music,   “And the cares that infest the day “Shall fold their tents like the Arabs   “And as silently steal away.”

All And the night shall be filled with music, etc.

Trio—Buscato, Gambo, and Papagallo

Busc. The iceman works because he loves to tell you in the spring The ice crop is a failure and the great price ice will bring. The iceman works because he loves to buy a diamond store With money that you paid for ice that melted at your door. I would not be an iceman, neither with the iceman stand, Had I the slightest notion I could join the angel band.     Our motto— All Three       Our motto is “Down with work!”

  O day—beauteous, sunny, azure-vaulted day—     We know the time for rest is o’er us creeping.   O night—starlit, moonlit, sombre-colored night—     There is no doubt that you were made for sleeping.

Gam. The gripman works because he loves to see you chase his car, And just as you have reached the curb he leaves you where you are. The gripman works because he loves to jolt you off your feet; And if you dare expostulate he dumps you in the street. I would not be a gripman, neither with the gripman stand, Had I the slightest notion I could join the angel band.     Our motto— All Three       Our motto is “Down with work!”, etc.

Pap. The plumber works because he loves to read your little note Which begs him to come up at once, the kitchen’s all afloat. The plumber works because he loves to know when he gets through He’ll have a mortgage on your house and own your bank-book too. I would not be a plumber, neither with the plumber stand, Had I the slightest notion I could join the angel band.     Our motto— All Three       Our motto is “Down with work!”, etc.

Chorus—La Pastorella and Girls

“Cuckoo, cuckoo,” a little bird sings with glee:   “When winds blow north, east, south, or west,   “Fail not to feather well your nest.” Cuckoo, cuckoo, little bird in the tree, Your pungent precept is the one for me.

Past., Busc., Gam., Love, light of my heart, & Chorus   The day of our joy is near; Love, though we should part,   Your image will ever be dear. Love, hope lives to-day With all of its (wonderful/mighty) sway;   For starlit night   And sunshine bright Have come to our lives for aye.

Song—Papagallo

Pap. I know a goat, a little goat, who loves to cut a dash.   He goes about from morn to night,   And his particular delight   Is to get mixed up in a fight And his opponent thrash.   While going out to dine one day,   He chanced to stop upon his way   And listened to a something play They call a phonograph.

All [imitating the phonograph’s tune] Br—! br—! br—!

Pap. The phonograph struck up a tune that seemed to please the goat.   He heard it fifty times at least,   And when the phonograph had ceased   This unmelodic little beast Could not recall a note.   His eyes flashed fire—his anger rose—   And then he raised up on his toes,   And at the silent box he goes With all his might and main.

All Br—! br—! br—!

Pap. He smashed the phonograph to bits and kicked it all to pot;   The cylinders of wax he ate;   And then without a moment’s wait   He swallowed, I am pained to state, The nickels in the slot.   And from that time unto this day   The chewed-up records with him stay   And in his bosom softly play The tune he could not catch.

All Br—! br—! br—!

Finale

Past.   The God of Love presides; So ring the wedding bells in joyful measure   For the grooms and brides, And let us hope that each has found a treasure. Love knows no disaster—     Woo him,     Sue him, Cupid as our master   Fore’er abides.

  So call the parson in! It’s very pleasant when true hearts are mated,   But it is a sin To join a maid and man who start ill-fated. Oh the sweet tomorrow—     Wooing,     Cooing— For we’ll banish sorrow   And let love win.

All Oh, tremble, Benedicts! Past.     Dan Cupid has a switch for you. All Oh, tremble, maids who sneer— Past.     At love that’s constant, strong, and true.

Past. & Min.   All ready, steady, march!— In serried ranks onward to the church we go.   Let every voice ring out with love And tell ev’rybody whom you know   Great Love, the King, is on the wing from above!

All In serried ranks onward to the church we go.   Let every voice ring out with love—     Rah! rah!— And tell ev’rybody whom you know   Great Love, the King,     Great Love, the King,   Is on the wing from realms above!