The Washington Post’s Style Invitational competition (modeled on Mary Ann Madden’s New York magazine competition of bygone years, which see) just revealed the results of Week 1509’s contest, in which the task was to combine two one-word movie titles and describe the resulting flick. Our household sent in a bunch, and one got ink, although I didn’t think it was the best of those I submitted and I didn’t think the Empress’s massaged tagline was any improvement.
- Maleficent Us: The sequel to “Despicable Me.”
The non-inking entries ranged from the topical (Suddenly Twilight: “Daylight Savings Time ends”) to the unprintable (and therefore unprinted). Frankly I’m surprised that this trio of classy French-themed entries failed to garner even a tittle of ink:
- Chocolat Pi: This ode to dessert has been modified from its original version. It has been formatted to fit your screen.
- Tenet 8½: Dix-huit et demi.
- Ratatouille Holes: Non-narrative film focuses on the mouths of everyday Parisians.
Other non-inkers included:
- Orca Frankenstein: Directed by James Whale.
- Heat Shrink: A Hollywood gaffer’s investigation into counterfeit electrical components lands him in the middle of an armored-car heist on Santa Monica Boulevard in this convoluted Elmore Leonard neo-noir.
- Argo Fargo: Jason turns his back on the famous ship.
- Titanic Hamlet: Metropolis.
- Badlands, GoodFellas: And good lands make bad fellas.
- Big Finch: Tom Hanks attempts to distinguish fact from fantasy in the Galapagos notebooks of his beloved evolutionary-biologist father.
- Speed Freaks: Directed by Harmony Korine.
- Okja Ouija: A linguist (Jim Carrey) finds himself mysteriously unable to say “no” to anything.
- Blow-Up Aliens: Directed by Michael Bay.
- Diabolique Stripes: The treacherous nature of the wild tiger. (Calvin, age 6.)
- Flightplan: Up: On a new airplane’s maiden voyage, nothing goes wrong.
- Nope Antz: Documentary. An illiterate nudist explains his way of life.
- High-Rise Downfall: Gravity.
- Chinatown Sneakers: Counterfeit-footwear documentary.
- Speedway Up: “Floor it!”
- Alien Pocahontas: Working title of James Cameron’s Avatar (2009).
- Thor Luther: The 1990 Tyson/Douglas matchup.
- Casino Wanted: But we bought a zoo instead.
- Clifford Ran: Kaiju disaster movie for children.
- Frozen Scoop: The history of ice cream.
- Tintin Can-Can: That’s it. Tin tin can can. That’s the joke.
- Up Sideways: Diagonally.